Wednesday, April 28, 2010

My Story-Part II-The First Two Days

April 9th may be my anniversary of going raw, but my real start date was 2 days earlier.

By the end of working as a restaurant manager I had began to feel really ill. I told myself at the time that it was just do to the stress that I was going through at work, but really it was much more than that.  My body was trying to send me a message: enough is enough.

More and more often I was feeling light headed and often felt pain in my chest, like someone was sitting on me suffocating me. I had to take prolonged breaks sitting down to do “paper work” or excusing myself to go outside for fresh air which was more than not a smoke break. The long hours had finally caught up to me and the stress of the job had broken me down. I no longer recognized who I was and despised who I was becoming. I was conscience that my choices where leading me down a path that would end in my becoming more and more unhealthy and unhappy, but I could not stop it. I was stuck on a self-destructing path that would only change if I made a drastic move.

My last day on the job couldn’t end fast enough and when it did, I left behind everything that I had allowed to destroy me. I quit smoking cold turkey and I turned my focus to finding a healthy way to eat and live.a

I had no idea where to begin, until my wife, Samantha, suggested to try a Leek Soup cleanse that she read about in the book French Women Don’t Get Fat. The idea is to eat only leek soup for two days. Apparently, it helps to cleanse the palate of your tongue from all of the processed food and sugar as well as restart your metabolism.

That first morning I woke up with excitement to get started. My breakfast consisted of a cup of leek soup broth...and that’s it. This was a stark contrast from just days earlier when I had fast-food: a deep-fried chicken burger, fries and cola. I felt good, a little hungry, but good. A wise man once told me that “A mile into the forest is a mile out”. I had brought myself down a path deep into the “forrest”. I needed to act drastically.

The first day past quickly. I was relieved to know that I only had one day left. That night I went to bed feeling that the worst had already past. I was wrong. The next day I woke up in a cold sweat. My bed was soaked beneath me from tossing and turning all night. I felt like a truck had run me over and I was left to scrap myself off the road. Making my way down the hall to the kitchen, I had to stop and rush for the bathroom. This is something I would have to do often over the next 48 hours. My skin had broken out in blotches of acne all over my body as I sweat profusely and uncontrollably.

Making my way to the kitchen I felt a mixture of intense hunger and fear of throwing up. I stared down at my breakfast, a bowl of leek soup broth, just like the morning before. This time my excitement vanished at the sight of it but I knew I needed to eat something. Reluctantly, I ate the entire bowl and felt a moment of satisfaction before rushing to the bathroom.

This was indeed a detox. My body was expelling everything that was hindering me and it wasn’t pretty. I’m not sure what I was expecting but this was not at all what I had in mind. At moments I found myself entertaining the idea of eating something “normal”, nearly breaking down to make myself some Kraft Dinner (Mac and Cheese for those of you outside of Canada) or a peanut butter and jam sandwich with two slices of white bread, sugary crunchy peanut butter and super sweet raspberry jam. To finish the sandwich off, I would put slices of cheddar cheese in the middle! A snack I perfected as a child, and used to smother with butter after every bit then dip into chocolate milk! (I’m not making this up.)

The second day was literally the day from hell. I tried to keep positive but I hit the wall early and didn’t know if I would have enough in me to see this through. As the night closed in on that second day, I can remember lying on the couch, useless in any other function, and holding my 9 month old daughter in my arms. As she lay there I could feel her breathing in and out, I felt her quiver and move on me, still learning to master muscle control in her tiny body. I knew then that this decision I had made, to find a healthier way of living, was bigger than me and that if everyday should prove to be as difficult, that it would be worth it.

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